I've been a little absent from this blog lately but with good reason. Sadly, Matt and I parted ways in August.
I'm not going to go into the whys and wherefores here on the internet but I can't let it pass without mention because this blog is quite a personal one and it's going to be a bit different from now on. For one thing, I've moved house and I didn't want to have to field any awkward questions like 'where's your lovely kitchen gone??'
It's an incredibly emotional time and I feel like I'm grieving to be honest - grieving for the life that I'd planned out for my family and for all the things that might have been. I have no doubt that leaving was the right thing to do but knowing that doesn't make it any easier just now, unfortunately.
I've been hiding from the world for a bit. The rest of my life looks so uncertain and too overwhelming to contemplate. And I don't mind admitting that I get frightened sometimes. This isn't the end of a chapter so much as the beginning of a whole new book.
And while I have worries - so many worries - about our future, I know that if I just focus on being the best mother I can be to Forrest then I won't let him down.
And that's all I care about really.
It is grieving, and you don't need to justify your sadness or any of your feelings to anybody - remember that. I was touched by Hazel Hayes recent video and I thought I would share it with you as it might be a small comfort: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=os0nQjM6pXk Thinking of you at this difficult time - it will pass, remember that xxx
ReplyDeleteCan't imagine how difficult it was to make that decision but you sound positive, which is the main thing & you have your gorgeous little boy to focus on. Take things one day at a time xx
ReplyDeleteBeautylymin
Sending you lots of hugs, hope you're ok!xx
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry. Remember to be kind to yourself and take things one step at a time, you can't solve all the worries at once and that's okay. One step at a time.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to read this lovely. It sounds like you did the right thing and I hope each day gets easier for you. Time to focus on yourself and that little man of yours. Much love, Jenny xx
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to read this - concentrate on the small things for now and take one day at a time.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear this. You're strong and although it can be all a bit shit at times, you'll get through it.
ReplyDeleteK.
Hi there I'm soo sorry to hear that )))Hug(((( I hope you are ok? If you ever need someone to talk too - i'm here on Twitter. xx
ReplyDeletehttp://www.annanuttall.com/
Oh love so sorry to hear that. A break up is like a grieving process because in a way you've lost that person close to you and it hurts. Just take it one step at a time and try not to overthink the future. Easier said than done I know. Big hugs. xxx
ReplyDeleteI've been out of the blogging loop lately and just started catching up, I'm sorry to hear this Rachel, ultimately though if you could make that decision, for whatever the reason, it was important enough to you to be the right one, and so long as you keep remembering that you will be OK! Forrest is an awesome little guy and you will be an even better mum (if possible!) by having done the right thing. I hope things are getting a little easier, I know in our neck of the woods things can feel a bit isolating so I hope you've got your people around you, chin up chuck! Xx
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