Fifty Shades Of ... (insert your own word here)

Earlier this year I was pottering about on Amazon looking for some new reading material. I have quite a specific way of looking for books, I usually begin browsing based on recommendations I read on Twitter or in magazines and branch out from there, using 'other people who bought this book also bought ...' or the recommendations tucked neatly into reviews. I ALWAYS read the reviews too. If it gets less than three stars it's a no go for me. I read a couple of the best reviews and a couple of the worst, looking for clues within them to help me decide if I should spend my hard earned cash on the book. This also helps me decide whether I should buy a hard or soft copy too, if I think I will really like it and it sounds like something I will keep and re-read, I always buy a hard copy.

I stumbled across Fifty Shades of Grey and I was astounded by the difference in the reviews - it seemed that people either loved it or hated it, there was no middle ground. I followed my tried and trusted process, read a selection of reviews and decided against it. The main reason was that several reviewers had said 'if you are a writer you will HATE this book because it is SO poorly written'. As I am writing a novel myself I decided to give it a miss. Nothing irritates me more than shoddy writing, it grates on me like finger nails down a blackboard and I've lost count of the times I've abandoned a book because the writing style just didn't sit well with me.

Over a cup of tea a couple of months later my best friend says to me 'I'm reading a book at the minute and it's amazing. Unbelievable. You have to read it but I don't want you to know what it's about before you start it so give me your Kindle and I'll download it for you'
'Is it called Fifty Shades of Grey?'
'Oh my God. Yes! How did you guess?'

I rolled my eyes and explained my Amazon findings, only to be told that the sex scenes alone were worth a read. This piqued my interest (I love a good sex scene - Jilly Cooper anyone??) so I decided to give it a go, albeit this sounded like it should definitely be a Kindle purchase.

Now I'm not going to lie .... I kind of enjoyed it. I know, I know, please don't judge me. It's true that the writing is at best, crap and at worst, downright shameful. It's unimaginative, repetitive, unrealistic and immature. I lost count of how many times Mr Grey cocked his head to one side in his first scene. I got bored of Anastasia's exclamations of 'Holy shit!' and I was soon sick to death of hearing about her bloody Inner Goddess. But I held my breath and waded through to the end. It held a weird, morbid fascination for me and I can't explain why. It's like driving past a car crash on the motorway - you know you shouldn't look but some sick part of you just can't help it.

I wasn't shocked by any of the ... er, graphic content. I was far more shocked that someone had seen fit to publish the manuscript without any apparent editing (I later found out it was self-published, which makes a lot of sense) I felt like Ms James had tried to cover up her shortcomings as an author by writing the most shocking sex scenes she could dream up. But even though it was so poorly done as to render it completely unbelievable, the relationship between Anastasia and Christian held me in thrall. Why? I don't know to be honest. Maybe because a part of me craves that kind of relationship? I spend most of my life paralysed by indecision, the idea of having all my decisions made for me is actually quite appealing!

I look back now and I still feel the same way about it. It was utter guff from start to finish. That didn't stop me from downloading and reading the rest of the trilogy though. I still can't really tell you why. I genuinely don't know.

If you've read the book(s) I'm pretty sure you will know what I mean as the general feeling on it seems to be one of disbelieving abhorrence. I was at a Marie Claire event on Thursday where a literary agent referred to it as 'Fifty Shades of Shite' and got a round of applause. But you can't get away from the fact that just about everyone has an opinion on it. And therefore just about everyone must have read it. Meaning that the author has become 'successful' in that she must have made a fortune out of it.

On the way home from the event my friend asked 'What would you rather write? A book that received mass critical acclaim and a bunch of literary awards but made you no money? Or a book that was widely ridiculed but made you a fortune?'

I opted for the former. Don't get me wrong, I like money as much as the next person. But I'm not sure I could be proud of a book like Fifty Shades. And ultimately that's far more important to me than money.